


What Harry Wants

by ladyroxanne21



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Office Sex, Polyjuice sex, Sneaky Draco, Sneaky Hermione
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-01 05:42:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10915503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyroxanne21/pseuds/ladyroxanne21
Summary: Tired of hearing Harry wish he could have sex with Draco Malfoy without having sex with the actual mouthy bastard, Hermione decides to steal some of those white blond hairs and give Harry what he wants.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twistedmiracle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twistedmiracle/gifts).



> H/R/Hr is one of those that I have a hard time with. In my headcanon, Harry would have sex with everyone in the world except Ron because he's like a brother, and vice versa. That said, I read one fic a while back in which the three of them do get together, and a lot of the reasons why made sense, so I decided to sort of try it, lol. None of the sex between them is actually on page though :-)
> 
> Written based off of a plot bunny or two I made in a comment on:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/1098432  
> Thus, big thanks to twistedmiracle!

“So ask him,” Hermione stated insistently. Her head was resting on Harry's shoulder, but facing away, which meant that he was spooned up behind her. Meanwhile, Ron was laying on his back being held in Hermione's arms, one hand running through her hair.

Harry snorted. “Oh sure! That'll work out _so well_. Oi Malfoy, I can't stand you and think you are an utter bastard, but I also think you're super fit and would love to shag you into the bed. You know, just don't talk.” Harry rolled his eyes. “He'd hex me before I could even finish saying all that!”

“He might yell, but I don't think he'd hex you,” Ron murmured. “Not these days. He just barely stayed out of Azkaban, thanks to you, and I don't think he'd want to be sent there simply because you offended him. So, if you _did_ tell him exactly that, at worst, he'd have fun verbally filleting you before storming off.”

Hermione smiled and added: “And at best, he might actually agree.”

“Plus, if you point out that he does sort of owe you...” Ron trailed off with a shrug.

Harry nodded slowly as he thought this over. “So, what you're saying is that I should go to Malfoy and say: Oi, you owe me and I want access to your body for a few nights. Let me shag you filthy rotten as much as I like and I'll consider the debt paid.”

“Maybe with a bit more tact,” Hermione suggested, but then shrugged. “Otherwise, yeah.”

Harry sighed and shook his head. “I couldn't do that. Even if he agreed, I'd feel like the worst bastard alive.”

Ron snorted again, this time with rather a lot of amusement. “That's rich, considering who you're talking about!”

Harry scrunched his body to the side a bit so that he could get a clearer look at Ron. “How would _you_ feel if someone came up to you and said: Look, I don't like a single thing about you, but your body is quite possibly the best one I've ever seen and I want to tie you to my bed and fill you up with so much spunk that it'll ooze out you're pores!”

Ron's eyes glazed over for a second. “Er... I think I might agree just to see if that's possible.”

Hermione laughed softly. “Yeah, while it might not be the most romantic of pick up lines, it could possibly be effective.”

“Sorry, but no,” Harry stated with a shake of his head. “Even if it worked, that's a mess I just don't want to get into. On the one hand, let's say he's willing to let me use him to fill all my dirtiest fantasies and we treat it a bit like a business transaction – him in exchange for fulfilling the life debt he owes me. At the end of it all, I'd feel like a perverted freak who has no problem using people for my own selfish gain.”

They were all silent for a moment as they thought this over. Then Hermione smiled. “Alright, how's this: what if I obtained a hair from him and used it in a Polyjuice Potion? That way, you can have his body exactly as you want, but there's no need to coerce him. It'll be me and we'll have as much consensual sex as you want.”

“And maybe I'd be willing to drink a bit of the potion and take a turn too,” Ron said with a shrug. “Not that I want to be _Malfoy_ , but it could be interesting – an exotic change.”

Hermione kissed her boyfriend with a smile. “I actually sort of _do_ want to be Malfoy – er, well, a man – for an hour or two. I'm half dying to know what it's like to have sex as a man. When I've watched the two of you, it seems so much more quick and satisfying. You can just find the right spot and bam! But with me – and women in general – I swear it's like someone encrypted my body with a twelve key combination lock, and not only do you have to find all twelve keys, but then you have to apply them in exactly the right order to unlock my orgasm.”

Both Harry and Ron chuckled and kissed her.

“Lucky for you that Ron and I can divide those keys between us and get you unlocked in half the time.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Anyway, as I'm trying to say, I think it would be nice to have sex as a man at least once – just to see the difference. If doing so means that you can also have Malfoy's body and meet one of your needs, then why not?”

Harry bit his lip and thought this over. Slowly, he nodded in agreement. “Why not?”

Ron chuckled and shook his head. “I can't decide if I want to watch or not. Probably not because I'm not attracted to ferret face. I wouldn't have to actually see him if I Polyjuiced into him, so that wouldn't be so bad, but watching... yeah, no.”

“Alright, so we're agreed that we want to try this?” Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged. “Er... yeah. Why not, right?”

“I'll see him later today, actually,” Hermione informed them. “He's coming into my office to consult on a case I'm working on. I'll give him a line about wanting to put the past behind us and give him a hug or something. That'll let me steal a hair from him fairly easily.”

Harry kissed her again. “You're the best!”

“Suppose we have time for another go before we have to leave for work?” Ron asked hopefully.

“You two might,” Harry said with a soft snort. “But I have a meeting first thing and as it stands, I might not have time to both eat _and_ take a shower.”

Hermione sighed. “I don't really have time either. I have to meet with a client right away, although I _do_ have time for a shower and breakfast.”

Ron sighed in disappointment. “Alright, let's go take a shower then.”

In agreement, the three of them slipped out of bed and into the shower.

 

***

 

At first, Draco was stunned. He convinced himself that there was no way that goody two shoes _Granger_ had actually stolen a hair from him. He told himself that she had simply brushed lint off him. But then he saw her surreptitiously drop a small tangle of shed white blond hairs into a pouch and quickly hide it in her desk.

Still not sure what was going on, as he walked away from her office, he really did try to tell himself that he had imagined it. That nothing was wrong. Hermione Granger was a law expert and would _never_ steal hair from a person. Plus, the only reasons she _would_ have for stealing a hair, if she did actually steal one, would be to frame him for a crime either by leaving it as evidence at a crime scene, or by using it in Polyjuice to make it _look_ like he had committed a crime. He just couldn't see her doing either.

But why else would she need his hair? Sure, there were potions and curses that could be made to specifically target him, but she wouldn't do those things either. Would she?

Now in a haze of anger, Draco tried to return to her office and confront her about it, but she had already left to see her next client. There was nothing to do but wait for her to return, except he was now too angry to do so. In his snit, he did the only thing he could think of.

Confront Potter.

Harry Potter was sitting in his nice roomy office as Deputy Head Auror. Draco definitely did _not_ want the whole department hearing this, so he closed, locked, warded, and silenced the office door. Rather than be surprised, Potter grinned at him. Those eyes were so vividly green and that smile was so disarming that Draco nearly gasped, despite his righteous fury.

“That was fast, Hermione. I know you _said_ you'd get his hair today, but I really thought we'd wait for the whole _Polyjuice into Malfoy and do kinky things_ scenario until we got home tonight.”

This took Draco aback so much that he couldn't respond for a few seconds. Potter continued, unaware of just how gobsmacked Draco was.

“But since you are here and have assured our complete privacy, what do you want to do first? Also, do you have enough potion to last a while, or do we have to finish up in the next hour? I was thinking we could start with a little submission – you on your knees blowing me, and then I could bend you over my desk.”

Draco cleared his throat. He was highly intrigued by this whole prospect. Better yet, he could turn this situation around and get exactly what he wanted out of it – which was more or less exactly what Potter had described.

“Well, _Harry_ ,” he had to remember that Granger wouldn't call him Potter. “I think that sounds good to start with, and no, we won't run out of potion. So, after we do what you suggest, maybe you'd let me have a turn with you?”

Potter grinned, running a hand through his wild black hair. “That only seems fair since half of this is about you getting to see what it's like to have sex as a bloke – presumably, that means topping, otherwise we could just do anal, right?”

Draco took a few steps closer to Potter. “Do you want me to strip for you, or would you prefer to do it yourself? And can you remind me again why you wanted to choose _Malfoy_ of all people for this bit of roleplay?”

Potter affected his most: are you serious or just pretending to be stupid? Look. “Hermione, don't make me roll my eyes. We only discussed every aspect of this this morning in bed. You know, since Ron isn't here to watch after all, maybe we should offer to let him see it in the Pensieve.”

Draco had to think quickly in order to get the information he wanted without giving away the game. “ _Harry_ , half the fun of this is the _roleplay_ , right? Thus, I am pretending to be Malfoy in every way. So...” He shifted his stance just a bit, as if stepping into character. “Potter, I demand to know how long you've been lusting after me.” As he said this, he busied himself unbuttoning his shirt – having already discarded his robes. Harry hadn't specified, but stripping off just seemed like the right thing to do.

“Alright, I'll play along, _Malfoy_ ,” Potter murmured with a smile as he watched the show. “I suppose it started at some point in Sixth Year. I was obsessed and stalked you. Mostly just wanted to figure out what you were up to, but I also fantasized about you while wanking from time to time. Then I got you out of my mind for a few years. When I saw you at a Ministry event about a year ago, it was like I was hit by a lust potion. Suddenly, I wanted you so badly that I couldn't think straight!”

“Well now,” Draco purred with a grin. “That sounds thoroughly frustrating.” By this point, his shirt was off and he was unfastening his trousers.

“Quit teasing me already 'Mione! Get your arse naked and on your knees before me!”

“Patience Potter,” Draco insisted with a hint of his haughty Malfoy drawl, hoping to get a little more information first.

Potter sighed in mild aggravation. “Hermione, one of the reasons we're doing this is because I don't want to have to deal with Malfoy's attitude, so I'll roleplay if that's what you want, but you're going to pretend to be him at his most agreeable, yeah?”

“Ah,” Draco stated in enlightenment. “Of course. Let's make a deal, I'll pretend to be Malfoy but in a way that is so agreeable you'll think he's been hit with a Confundus. In exchange, I want you to call me Draco.”

Potter raised a brow at that. “You really are taking this roleplaying seriously. Huh, I didn't know this was one of your kinks, but okay, if it'll make you happy.” He cleared his throat. “Get your arse naked, _Draco_ , and get on your knees before me!”

Draco couldn't help but grin. This was _not_ how he envisioned his day going at all! He finished stripping off in about two seconds, and then eliminated all distance between the two of them and dropped to his knees.

“Alright, _Harry_ , I'm here and eager to do what you want.”

Harry grinned. “As I said, I want you to put that mouth of yours to good use.”

With a small nod, Draco bent to do exactly that – glad to see that Harry had already opened his trousers and freed his shaft. It was beautiful – probably about seven inches long and wide enough to look fat without being massive. Just his type, really.

Draco started slowly, teasingly. He knew that Harry had _said_ he didn't want to be teased, but he almost certainly did. _Every_ bloke wanted his blowjob to start with an enticing tease. Swirling his tongue around the head was fun, as was licking up and down the sides. He spent a few minutes simply sucking on and licking Harry's balls.

Harry groaned and tangled his fingers in Draco's hair. “Merlin's saggy tits! You have _no idea_ how long I've wanted to mess up this pretty hair of yours!”

Those words inexplicably made Draco happy. Like seriously happy. Enough to purr. On the plus side, the purring made Harry groan in pleasure and roll his head back to rest on his chair.

It seemed like the moment Draco really got into the blowjob he was giving, it became too much for Harry. Harry yanked Draco to his feet, and then practically slammed him onto the desk. Very strangely, Draco hoped that none of the paperwork he was now sprawled on was important.

Harry growled in his ear. “I'm too worked up to take my time and do this properly, but I promise I won't hurt you either. Just... this is going to feel weird.”

Draco assumed that this warning was for Hermione, who – presumably – would never have felt the standard array of preparation spells that Harry performed. They cleaned him out, softened him up, and opened him for easy penetration. Plus, Harry conjured an orange and cinnamon smelling oil for lubrication – which tingled oh so nicely.

Wasting not even a second, Harry pressed his rigid shaft into Draco, going firmly forward at a steady pace that would allow for the body to adjust. Draco liked that it wasn't hesitant _or_ too much too soon. He had experience bottoming, so it didn't take much at all for him to relax and accept the pleasure of a shaft in his arse.

With a lightly purring sigh, he had to wonder if he could get away with pretending to be Granger pretending to be him a few more times before Harry cottoned on. After all, the man was an Auror; surely he'd figure it out eventually. It was sheer luck that Draco had kept his mouth shut long enough to get this far as it was.

Harry soon worked himself into a pounding that Draco just loved, despite being repeatedly rammed into the desk. Salazar's sweet spunk! Harry had _power_! He was able to give Draco a good seeing to that he was definitely going to wank over for the rest of his life.

It took everything Draco had to hold off his orgasm. It was _right there_ and he longed to welcome it like an old friend. However, far _far_ more, he wanted to save his orgasm for inside Harry's arse – as promised.

With that goal in mind, Draco decided to try a little begging. “Oh! Oh! _Please_ Harry! Please fill me up! Pump me full – so full it gushes back out of me! Oh! Yes, _please_!”

Harry groaned, clearly liking the begging. He leaned over and bit Draco's shoulder to muffle the soft roar that announced the fact that he was doing exactly as asked. His movements got highly erratic, but no less powerful. A wonderful warmth flooded Draco, making him purr all over again.

They rested for a moment, but then Draco pushed Harry away. Harry slumped onto the floor, sitting rather bonelessly as he reached for Draco's shaft.

“I'm going to show you why blowjobs are seriously loved by every bloke in the world,” Harry promised, and then did exactly that.

It really didn't take much more than a minute before Draco was yanking Harry away. “Merlin's pendulous bollocks! Stop or I'm going to be done already and I still want –”

Harry pulled back with a grin. “I want that too. _Draco_. Here...” Harry cast the spells to prepare himself, and then lay on his back and pulled Draco on top of him.

“Oh fuck,” Draco swore in awe when he felt Harry grab his shaft and guide him right to that soft pucker. He hesitated and honestly couldn't explain why. Tentative gray eyes met lust blown green ones that very quickly grew impatient.

“Come on! You know I'm still half prepared from this morning, and with the spells, there's no need to worry you'll hurt me. Just ram it in and try your best to pound me into the floor.”

Draco gasped as those words nearly made him finish right then and there. Taking a deep breath, he cast aside all thoughts and did as told. How in the seven levels of hell had he not talked Harry into doing this before?! This was better by far than any other lover he'd ever had, and he was quite sure it was because he and Harry disliked each other with a passion.

It now made total sense to him why Harry would want to steal his hair for a little bit of illicit Polyjuice sex. The chemistry between them was insane – had always been insane – but the tendency for them to fight made shagging unlikely.

Draco was in heaven just from the pleasure of thrusting into Harry's arse. It seemed to be made for him! He'd seriously consider biting his tongue and making an effort to get along with Harry if they could do this again, possibly on a regular basis.

Having been so very close to the edge of orgasm for quite some time, Draco just couldn't hold back for very long. Maybe a few minutes. When it happened, his orgasm hit him so hard that he squealed and shook as he pumped Harry full. Then he practically passed out.

He regained consciousness a minute or so later when Harry drew on his back absently with a finger and chuckled. “That was a lot of fun and I can't wait to do it again. How much hair did you get? Enough for us to do this a few times?”

Draco decided to shrug since he didn't actually know.

Harry kissed him tenderly. “You should probably get dressed and go now. I'll be shocked if I don't have a bunch of people waiting for me in the hall.” Another sweet and lingering kiss. “Maybe we'll order take away tonight and save a little time on dinner so that we can go to bed early tonight.”

Draco smiled faintly. “Sounds good.”

Harry kissed Draco again, and this time, Draco took the opportunity to deepen the kiss and make it almost hot enough to spark another round. But not quite. Harry pulled back after about two minutes.

“I'm serious. There's already going to be a lot of talk about why Draco Malfoy was locked in my office today. I don't need it to last all day and basically be guaranteed that this is exactly what we were doing. Not only will I get in trouble for misuse of my office, but it'll get back to the papers and Draco's sure to hear about it.”

Draco shrugged as if admitting that Harry had a valid point.

“So I'll see you at home, and if you want to do this again, we will.”

Draco nodded, and then got up to get dressed. He wasn't quite sure how to feel. On the one hand, he had just had mind blowing sex _and_ fulfilled a _long_ standing fantasy, so he was rather happy and sated. On the other hand, he was feeling just a little bit used. Not so much that he was going to make an issue out of it, but enough that he was a tiny bit bothered that Harry would prefer to shag one of his friends under Polyjuice rather than shag Draco directly.

The moment he was fully composed – even his hair was all back in place – Draco ended all the spells on the door and gave Harry a small nod before leaving. Harry – having gotten dressed as well – smiled at him in a way that made Draco immediately long to see it for all the rest of eternity.

As he walked away, his mind utterly preoccupied by thoughts of Harry, he didn't see Hermione watch him from where she stood down the hall in consultation with an Auror she was working on a case with. She smirked softly in pride in herself. She'd known that Draco Malfoy would figure out what Hermione had done, and that he'd be likely to go confront Harry. Hopefully, those two idiots would be able to work out their issues.

In the meantime, she planned to have fun with that hair and Harry – and likely Ron – after dinner. Maybe once Harry stopped being so nervous around Malfoy's body, he'd feel more confident around the man himself. It was certainly worth a shot, she decided with a shrug and a grin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, now you know that it was actually Hermione being the sneaky one, even though Draco thought he was being pretty darn sneaky himself, lol.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Harry gets home from work, Hermione polyjuices into Malfoy and they have sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I describe something in this chapter that I myself have no experience with, I may have made a few assumptions and generalizations. I hope I don't offend any men reading this :-)

“We got lucky,” Hermione stated with a pleased grin. “I'd noticed a small tangle of hair – you know the sort that is shed and then just falls. Well, it was sitting on his back, so I plucked it off and pretended it was some lint. Thus, if we use a minimal amount for each potion, we should have enough to last quite a while.”

“Well, I've decided that I _don't_ want to watch,” Ron stated with a smile. “So you two can have fun without me and then make it up to me later on.”

Hermione smiled at him in return before leaning over to give him a kiss. “Alright. I'm sure we can think of something to make you happy.”

Ron grinned. “ _Well_ , if we're not adverse to Polyjuicing into others, I can think of a woman or two I wouldn't mind an opportunity to shag.”

Hermione giggled. “That sounds like a fun and interesting evening. Harry can find out what I mean when I say that women seem to have a combination lock on their orgasms requiring twelve keys.”

Harry shrugged. “Yeah, alright. Could be fun. Who'd you have in mind?”

Ron looked suspicious for a moment, then shrugged. “Weirdly enough, Luna is one of the women I wouldn't mind shagging. So is Pansy Parkinson.”

Hermione really thought she'd be jealous at hearing this, which was why Ron had been suspicious, but she wasn't. It probably had something to do with the fact that she knew Ron would never actually cheat on her and Harry, and that he was only asking to use Polyjuice because they were. Besides, the thought of seeing Harry become Luna for some kinky sex with Ron was actually rather hot to think about.

“I bet Luna would willingly give us some hair if we asked her,” Hermione pointed out.

Harry snorted in amusement. “If we told Luna what we planned to do with the hair, she'd probably wonder why we don't just shag her directly.”

Ron laughed. “Or she'd want to watch!”

Hermione smiled and gave Ron a kiss. “Obviously, all the possibilities will need to be discussed more before we decide anything.”

Ron grinned. “That's one of the things I love about this relationship between the three of us. We've all vowed to keep an open mind and try anything.” He kissed first Hermione, and then Harry. “Listen, since you two are presumably going to be busy for the rest of the night, I think I'll go out to the pub with Seamus and Neville. Seamus especially has been wanting a pub night, and Neville was just saying today that he wanted to ask me my opinion on his plans for Hannah's birthday.”

“Sounds fun,” Harry murmured with a smile.

As Ron wandered out of their bedroom to go firecall their friends, Hermione busied herself measuring out enough potion to fill a small flask. She then pulled apart the tangle of hair and selected a piece that was the smallest she knew would work. In this way, they should have enough to last a long time – if they liked and wanted to repeat the experience.

When ready, Harry watched Hermione strip so that the transformation didn't ruin her clothes. He frowned in thought for a moment. Something had just occurred to him.

“How did you manage to get some of Malfoy's clothes?”

Hermione laughed. “I simply transfigured my spare robes that I keep in my office for emergencies into what he was wearing today.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” Harry murmured with a smile. “Are you going to want to roleplay again?”

Hermione shrugged. “I might. I won't know for sure until I take the potion and see how I feel.”

Harry simply nodded because that made sense too.

Hermione held up the potion and braced herself before drinking it. She well knew how unpleasant it was to turn into someone else. Such as Bellatrix. Or Mafalda. Or Harry. Or that one time she'd accidentally became a cat. Thank  _Merlin_ she was certain that wasn't going to happen again!

Now that she thought about it, she'd taken Polyjuice rather a lot over the years. With a shrug, she gulped down a swallow of the icy blue liquid the potion had turned into when she'd added the white blond hair. Unexpectedly, the potion did not taste as bad as normal and she didn't feel like she was about to sick up – just before she felt all hot and melty and changed into Draco.

“Mmm...” Harry moaned in appreciation of the naked body before him.

Hermione smirked, wondering if she actually looked haughty and condescending like the real Draco Malfoy. “I've decided that I don't want to roleplay after all. Not exactly. I want you to give me a blowjob and swallow it, and then you can do whatever you like to me.”

Harry chuckled. “I  _knew_ you'd love blowjobs!”

Hermione felt a little guilty for letting Harry believe that it had been her in his office earlier, but decided that she would continue to keep that a secret until he was more confident around Draco. That said, she was terrible at keeping secrets and would probably confess before the end of the night. She could only pray that Harry wouldn't be too mad at her.

Harry wasted no time pushing her into sitting on the edge of the bed and getting on his knees before her. “Malfoy's shaft is long and thin and perfect for just about everything,” he informed her with a grin.

To her surprise, a blowjob felt good yes, but not too different from clitoral stimulation. She had assumed that it would be intense and overwhelm her quickly – especially with how eager and confident Harry was being – but actually, it was... hard to describe. It was like a good massage. Every part felt good and built up over the course of about ten minutes until she ejaculated into Harry's mouth. That in and of itself felt a bit like she had taken a hit of something to make her feel blissful, but it was a softer sort of bliss that washed over her for a few seconds and made her gasp slightly and grunt.

No wonder men didn't usually scream or squeal! Their orgasm – or at least this particular one – was easier to achieve, but it wasn't quite as intense. Hermione bit her lip and realized that it felt a lot like the orgasms she had when she was just idly playing with herself; nice, but not fantastic.

To be honest, the only time she ever had truly fantastic orgasms was when either Ron or Harry (or sometimes both, taking turns) devoted themselves to licking her for at least a half an hour, going slowly and gently. By the end, she felt as if she'd been wound up like a muggle toy – her body tense and her muscles hard like steel as she gripped a pillow or the headboard. Her legs would shake as she could feel the orgasm  _right there_ but refusing to come any closer. And then it would be like that talented tongue found the right key and suddenly, she was flooded with a feeling so overwhelming that she'd literally scream and wail and cry and thrash back and forth.

“Well?” Harry asked, wondering why she was so quiet.

“That was wonderful,” Hermione told him honestly, giving him a kiss. “I completely understand why men love that so much. I was just thinking that... well, it was easier than tonguing me. So much easier!”

“Now I'm actually sort of curious to Polyjuice into a woman after all. I was thinking that women screamed during orgasm because it's what they're taught and expected to do, but if that was true, you would have done so just now out of sheer habit. But you didn't.”

Hermione laughed softly. “I only scream during the super intense orgasms, which only happen when one of you is in the mood to lick me for half the night.”

Harry chuckled. “Yeah, that's true.” Because now that he thought about it, those times when she used her fingers – or had a hand from one of them – during penetration, she only moaned and gasped during orgasm. “Well, as long as I can do anything I like, I think I'll take the time to properly work you open.”

“Then I promise to be more patient than when one of you wants to do anal to me as a woman,” she said, because she didn't really like the feeling of them fingering her arse and tended to just have them get on with it as soon as possible. “And I should probably set an alarm charm so that I remember to take another dose of potion before this dose wears off.”

“Good idea,” Harry agreed with a kiss.

To her astonishment, when she relaxed – after Harry cast a spell to clean her out – she felt really good. She actually felt really close to how she had assumed the blowjob would feel. Harry mercilessly stimulated her prostate, making her shudder and moan into a pillow. At the same time, he rimmed her until she was close to squealing.

“Oh my fucking God!” She roared when something like a dry orgasm washed over her. It wasn't... the _same_ as before. It wasn't the same as an intense female orgasm either. It was simply... well, a bit like taking a tiny hit of pure bliss. “Shag me right now!”

“Alright,” Harry agreed with a knowing smirk. He promptly got into position, oiled up his shaft, and complied. He pushed into her as smoothly as possible, taking care to find the spot that made her shudder again.

“Damn it! This is officially not fair!” Hermione cried out, her face still buried in a pillow. “Anal sex is _definitely_ better for men!”

Chuckling, Harry simply pounded into her until he felt her get close – as evidenced by her growing tighter around his shaft. Then he stopped somewhat abruptly and leaned over to press kisses to her shoulder. She growled softly in frustration.

“Why'd you stop?”

“Because I want to finish with you inside me, and I don't think you'd be up to the task if I let you go off right now,” Harry answered between kissing her back.

Hermione panted until she calmed down a little. “Alright. I think I'm ready. Are you ready?”

Harry nodded, and then pulled out of her and flopped onto his back. Hermione glanced at the alarm charm and decided to just take her second dose of potion now, before she got too in to what she was doing. After resetting the charm, she climbed into position over him and gave him a lengthy kiss.

“I've already prepared myself, so you can just get right to it,” he informed her.

With a smile, she used a little bit of oil to lubricate herself, and then slid into Harry. She moaned happily the entire time she worked herself as deep as possible. Then she kissed Harry again.

“You know, I think I like this better too,” she remarked.

“Better than what?” Harry wondered curiously.

“Sex as a woman,” Hermione stated with a shrug. “It's... well, it's maybe not quite as intense, but it definitely feels good and I quite like it.”

“Lucky we have more hair then,” Harry state with a grin.

“Too right,” Hermione agreed before shifting slightly and picking a medium but demanding pace so that she didn't wear herself out too soon.

Enjoying constant messy kisses, they ground into each for a long time, which Hermione intuitively realized must be because she'd already had an orgasm in Harry's mouth. It soon became hot and sweaty sex that they both just loved. Harry repeatedly grunted: “Uh!” Until he got close, then he dug his fingers into her hips and arched his back.

Hermione moaned so erotically at the feel of him getting tighter that she could have put a professional porn star to shame. Then Harry squirted out several long strings, and the feel of it sent an almost electric tingle through her body. She cried out again, surrendering to the hit of bliss that made her vision go white for a few seconds.

They collapsed and lay panting until they calmed down and half drifted off. Strangely, neither could actually fall asleep without Ron in bed too. After a while, the potion wore off and Hermione changed back into herself. Harry stroked her shoulder and kissed her.

“That wasn't you, was it?” Harry asked abruptly a while later.

Hermione winced and pressed her lips together for a long moment before sighing. “How did you figure it out?”

Harry shrugged and thought it over for a moment. “Well... and please don't take this the wrong way, but... what we had just now _felt_ like I was having sex with you. What I had earlier felt...” he shrugged again and let out a heavy sigh. “More... electric, if that makes sense.”

“Ah,” Hermione murmured in understanding. She kissed him. “So what now?”

Harry let out another heavy sigh. “That's the question, isn't it?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a vague idea for a next part...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, Harry's the sneaky one :-D

Harry looked up to see Draco Malfoy enter his office, shut the door, lock it, and ward it in every way possible. He raised a brow curiously. Draco turned to face him and gave Harry a smile that looked a little too bright and cheery.

“Er...” Harry droned in mild confusion.

“ _Harry,_ ” Draco purred softly.

 _Oh!_ Harry smiled at him, probably looking relieved. Then he sighed as if being put upon. “Hermione, you know that tonight is the night that we're planning for me to Polyjuice into Luna for Ron's kinky reward. It's not a good idea to be exhausting me right now.”

Harry watched as Draco bit his lip in thought. “Well... what if we _don't_ exhaust you? We could always take it slow...”

Harry made a show of thinking this over. Since he'd figured out that Hermione hadn't _actually_ been the one he had sex with the first time, he knew that this was Draco pretending to be Hermione Polyjuiced as Draco. The thought made Harry want to laugh, but he held it back.

“Alright, 'Mione. Come here,” Harry said, beckoning him over. “Sit on my desk and I'll give you a blowjob.”

Harry could see a pleased spark in Draco's eyes, but then it was replaced with a shrewd expression. “What if I would prefer to shag you?”

Harry laughed. “Merlin you're insatiable! Well alright then.”

The best part was that Harry could see Draco wondering just how much he and Hermione had used his hair if it was only the Friday a week later and Harry made it sound like this had happened a lot. As Draco walked closer to Harry, he shrugged out of his robes. He inclined his head toward Harry's desk.

“Anything on there important?”

Harry grinned and cast a spell to send all of the paperwork flying to form a stack on a shelf across the room. “There! Now it doesn't matter.”

Draco grinned as Harry cast a spell to make all of his own clothes temporarily intangible so that the could be banished to the couch.

“How would you like me?” Harry asked curiously once he was naked.

“Sitting on your desk?”

“Like this?” Harry asked as he sat on his desk and spread his legs just a little as he leaned back.

Draco moaned in longing at the sight. “Yeah... exactly like that...”

When Draco got close enough, Harry grabbed him and seized a demanding kiss. Both of them moaned happily at that. When Draco pulled back to pant and rest his head on Harry's shoulder, Harry licked the curve of his ear.

“We should make this quick, so...” Harry trailed off as he waved his hand in circles to cast spells to get himself all ready to go. “There.”

Inhaling a soft gasp, Draco did his best to seem like he was used to Harry using wandless magic and wasn't three hundred times more turned on by it than Hermione would probably be. His hands shook ever so slightly when he unfastened his trousers and freed his shaft. Harry smirked in amusement.

“No pants?”

“I was in too much of a hurry to be arsed,” Draco murmured with a shrug.

“Mmm...” Harry moaned in approval, using his hands to stroke that long and beautiful shaft. “This really is nearly perfect in every way.”

Draco ducked his head to hide just how pleased he was to hear those words. Harry conjured his favorite oil blend and used it to slick up Draco's shaft. Then he shifted until he was braced on his elbows with as much room as possible between his legs.

“Go on, ram yourself inside me and pound me into the desk.”

Draco groaned as those words nearly finished him off right then and there. Taking a few deep breaths, he pressed himself into Harry's soft pucker.

“Hard, rough, and fast, remember?” Harry murmured, pulling Draco close for another – this time hot and messy – kiss.

Draco shuddered as those words combined with that kiss did something to him that he couldn't quite understand. Complying, he thrust into Harry and did his best to give Harry exactly what he wanted. If he was honest, it was probably a good thing that Harry wanted it fast, because he wasn't certain he _could_ last more than a couple minutes.

Harry wrapped his legs around Draco and used one hand on Draco's neck to pull the gorgeous blond fully on top of him so that they could kiss and shag at the same time. When Draco felt the end nearing far too soon for his liking, he slowed down a bit to see if he could hold back, but Harry shifted his hands to Draco's hips to encourage him.

“Harder, Draco,” Harry ordered softly, licking that pale and slender neck before trying to suck a bruise onto it.

Hearing that did it; Draco lost all control and inhaled a gasp as he pumped Harry full. Harry moaned happily, stroking Draco's back and basically holding him steady as he recovered. When Draco felt like he could catch his breath, he pulled back to kiss Harry again.

“Er wait, you didn't...”

Harry grinned. “No, but I already told you, I need to save my stamina for when I Polyjuice into Luna tonight. She told me that she's extra sensitive and I'll probably feel like I've been flattened by a steamroller after just half an hour. I don't want to go into that already weak in the knees.”

Harry could see Draco biting back the questions he assumed that Hermione would already know the answer to. Harry chuckled and decided that kissing Draco was more important than anything at the moment. When Draco tried to pull back, since he had gone limp and was getting thoroughly uncomfortable, Harry wouldn't let him.

“Merlin! I could kiss you all day!”

“Er...” Draco droned because he didn't have any idea what to say to that. He was now feeling just a little bit guilty for letting Harry believe a lie.

Harry licked his neck again. “So... would you like to come to my place next weekend, Draco?”

Draco tilted his head to the side in confusion. _Why would Harry invite someone over that already lives with him?_ Then he realized that Harry had called him by name and gaped in utter astonishment.

Harry chuckled. “I figured it out after Hermione really did Polyjuice into you and it still felt like having sex with her. Whereas with you, there's something I just can't describe...”

Draco pulled back enough to look Harry directly in the eye. His expression was indescribable – both fierce as if angry and elated. “If you're serious, then yes. I'd like to go to your place next weekend. But I think we have to talk about this before we do anything else.”

Harry smiled and nodded. “I agree.” Then he kissed Draco again. “But just so you know, I probably shouldn't have sex in my office anymore. People will eventually figure out what we're doing in here.”

Draco smirked. “Not sure I'd mind.”

With a grin of agreement, Harry kissed him again and kept on kissing him until a Patronus from the Head Auror burst in to ask why the hell Harry was late for the departmental meeting. With a yelp of dismay, Harry quickly summoned his wand to cast a Patronus to assure his boss that he was on his way before someone came looking for him in person. He then pushed Draco away and cast a charm to put his Auror robe on in about a second flat. Lastly, he gave Draco one more quick kiss before shattering all of Draco's wards and running away.

Draco watched him go, highly amused that Harry was going to be in an important meeting wearing very little. The thought was enough to entertain him for the rest of the day – and much of the next week. No matter what Harry said, more office sex was necessary because Draco didn't think it was possible to wank away the the mental images he now had. After fixing his appearance, he quietly left the office, very much looking forward to next weekend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How badly do you want to read Harry as Luna with Ron (with or without Hermione)?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry Polyjuices into Luna and learns what sex is like for an extrememly blessed woman :-)

Harry took a deep breath to prepare himself. Taking Polyjuice was never exactly fun, but sometimes, it wasn't as bad as others. He prayed this this would be one of those times. Downing the potion, Harry was surprised to feel an interesting tingle as the softly lavender liquid made him shrink a little and reform into a soft and curvy woman.

Harry inspected his nude appearance in the mirror. “Mmm... I didn't realize how good Luna looked naked.”

Ron chuckled. “I dared her to flash me once and she told me that the nude body was a sacred object that should be worshiped as often as possible – and thus I didn't need to dare her. She was more than happy to strip off and strut around for me. Unfortunately, I was too much of a nervous virgin to ask to shag her at the time, so...” he trailed off as he spread his hands wide in a gesture that meant: _you know how it goes_.

“Wait,” Hermione murmured with a puzzled frown. “You just _asked_ Luna to get naked for you, and she did? When was this?”

“Oh... about halfway through Fifth Year. She'd entered the boys' bathroom because it was closer than the girl's, and then completely flustered me by using two fingers to spread her 'lips' just right so that she could use the urinal standing up. I didn't know what to do! So, I made a joke that if she thought she was a boy, I dared her to flash me and prove it, and as I said, she did,” Ron explained with a shrug and a shake of his head, as if saying: _you know how Luna is_.

“Er...” Harry glanced at the highly feminine body he was now wearing, and then looked back at Ron. “I wish you had told me that back then. I would have probably asked her to show me too – not to shag her either, but simply to say I had seen a girl naked at that point.”

“She was soft and cuddly looking back then,” Ron informed them as he walked a circle around Harry. “But she's bloody luscious now!”

“I wonder if she uses a spell to keep her tits so perky?” Hermione asked herself more than them. Luna was a D cup by the look of it, while Hermione was only a C cup. Even so, Hermione felt her breasts were a little saggy while Luna's looked perfect in almost every way.

“Ask her?” Harry replied with a shrug.

Ron grinned at him. “Alright, so we're going to start with you sitting on the bed and exploring yourself. I want to see you massage your tits and play with your clit.”

Harry blushed a crimson shade of red. “You want me to what?!”

“Come on Harry, please?” Ron pouted becomingly.

Harry sighed and perched on the edge of the bed. He started by firmly ignoring his friends as he simply felt Luna's breasts. His innate curiosity soon had him rubbing them rather firmly.

“Wow! That feels weird! It's a little good and a little annoying at the same time. When I roll my nipple like this, it sends a little jolt to my groin, but at the same time, I want to slap the hand away.”

Hermione chuckled from where she was sitting on Ron's lap in a chair next to the bed. “Yeah, you sort of have to ignore the annoying part and focus on the good part. If you lick the nipple gently with your tongue, you'll probably feel good, but be careful if you try sucking on it. For me at least, the sucking is _really_ annoying unless I'm in just the right mood.” Then she grinned. “But when I am in the right mood, bloody hell! It's almost better than intercourse!”

“Hmm...” Harry murmured in thought as he tried her advice. The feel of his tongue was nice but not as good as simply massaging the breasts had been. He tried to suck, only to pull back after a moment. “That made me want to punch someone.”

“Right?!” Hermione blurted out with a laugh. “Wait until you're more aroused, and then try it again.

“Alright,” Harry agreed, returning to the firm massage that felt pretty good. He saw that Ron liked it when he pressed his breasts together, so he did that a few times before licking his areolas just to tease Ron. Ron responded by groaning in longing.

Then – getting a bit more into it now – Harry slid his hands down his stomach, spreading his legs wide so that Ron had a good view. Harry let his curiosity take over for a few minutes, simply feeling everything and getting as good a look as he could. When he felt ready, he located his clit and –

“Whoa! Luna wasn't kidding!” He gasped out in astonishment. “Just from what I can feel with my fingers, she's got a –” But before Harry could explain what exactly Luna had, he melted onto his back with a purring moan. His fingers were creating gentle circles that very quickly made him feel like he was melting in a pool of lava. “Mmmmmmm...”

“What's it feel like?” Ron wondered.

Harry shook his head. “How to describe...?” He moaned again. “It's like wanking, but better. Hotter? But... I have to do it _just right_. I'm already discovering that if I do it wrong or do the same thing too much, it gets annoying, but if I keep it slow and rather gentle, mmm....”

“From what I can see, Luna has a much bigger clitoris than I do,” Hermione said, swaying her head back and forth to get a better look before just giving up and kneeling between Harry's legs. “Not fair! She's got enough to properly suck on!”

Which was what Harry had been trying to say. Luna's clit seemed to be about the same size at the distal portion of her pinkie finger – while Hermione's was the size of a pea. Hermione's was normal for most women, so she didn't really have anything to complain about. Even so, she was a tiny bit jealous!

“Oh God!” Harry cried out, bucking his hips as he felt like he was on the edge of a volcano and about to fall in.

With a grin, Ron gently pushed Hermione out of the way so that he could dive in and replace Harry's fingers with his tongue. Harry immediately seized Ron's hair in both fists and yanked hard. Everything now felt even better, and yet, he wasn't quite orgasming yet.

“OhGodohGodohGod!” Harry chanted, thrashing his head side to side. Every muscle in his body felt like it was tightening to the point of feeling like steel. It hurt just a little, distracting him from the feeling of: _right there_! Why was it taking so damn long? He started whimpering and crying and _begging._

Hermione couldn't help but turn her head and press her mouth to the bed to contain her laughter. Men! They had _no_ idea...

 _Finally_ the Gods decided to answer Harry's prayer for deliverance. He arched his back clear off the bed and wailed like a banshee. Almost the moment the orgasm started, it turned sharp and overwhelming. Harry was now frantically pushing Ron's head away, but Ron decided that this was his cue to insert a couple of fingers into Harry's vagina and stimulate the spot that might...

Harry screamed in surprise as his overwhelming orgasm suddenly changed. It was now slightly easier to cope with, but it also felt like he was peeing all over Ron. “Oh God! _What are you doing to me_?!”

Hermione had a strange urge to strangle Luna the next time she saw her. “I'm definitely Polyjuicing into her at some point!”

“Ron! I swear to fucking Merlin that if you don't stop that and shag me this fucking second, I will bloody well murder you and then cover it up!” Harry roared, yanking on Ron's flaming red hair again, _insisting_ that the ginger remove his tongue and fingers.

Chuckling, Ron stood up – having knelt next to the bed – and carefully lifted Harry so that they could move to the middle of the large bed. He took a moment to wipe the majority of the fluid off his face, and then got into position between Harry's legs. He slid himself inside Harry smoothly, then did the trick Hermione loved of spreading her labia wide around him.

This meant that every time he thrust, he rubbed against Harry's clit, making Harry yelp and dig his nails into Ron's back. Harry had a series of mini orgasms that had him gasping: “Ohfuckohfuckohfuck!” They culminated in an astounding orgasm that made Harry sob and wail a long, high note like a professional opera singer. To his profound relief, this triggered Ron's orgasm.

The moment Ron flung himself onto the bed next to Harry, the man who was still Polyjuiced as Luna promptly curled up into a ball on his side – facing away from Ron – and panted heavily. “Never again!” He vowed. “That was far too intense!”

Hermione, chuckling again and not even trying to hide it this time, took a swig of the Polyjuice Potion, and then forced Ron to satisfy her by straddling his head and covering his mouth in a way that would not let him breath unless he cooperated. Humming happily, Ron got to work with gusto. Secretly, he was dying to know if Hermione would be reduced to a quivering mass of nerves as quickly as Harry had been.

With a groan of sheer pleasure, Hermione threw her head back and let the waves wash over her. When she thought to look over at Harry a few minutes later, he was still curled in a ball, but now he was watching them in fascination. His hair was slowly turning black and getting shorter, so his potion must be wearing off. She grinned at him. “So Harry, since you don't want to use the rest of Luna's hair, do you mind if I do?”

“Not at all!” Harry exclaimed with a gesture that said: _be my guest_!

“This really isn't fair,” Hermione complained with a pout. “I'm tempted to murder Luna and take her place for the rest of my life! If I did, would you help me cover it up?”

Harry laughed. “So, we murder Ron and Luna and make it look like a double suicide between the two of you?”

“Then you and 'Luna' will live happily ever after,” Hermione added with a laugh.

“With Malfoy, because I think I'm going to want to keep shagging him every now and then for the next few years at the very least.”

“Oi!” Ron protested. “I'm trying to concentrate here, and you're killing the mood by mentioning the ferret!”

“But murdering you is fine?” Hermione asked with a laugh.

Ron shrugged. “In that case, I won't be around to hear about the brilliant shagging with Malfoy.”

Harry and Hermione both laughed at that. Ron responded by rolling Hermione under him and getting comfortable. Now, he was perfectly prepared to last all night, if he had to.

By the time that Hermione was wailing like a banshee, she'd squirted three times. Being a woman to begin with, she was better prepared for the intensity, thus when both Harry and Ron indicated they were ready for another go, she had no problem letting them. Though, it did require another shot of potion to make sure she didn't change back too soon.

She fingered her borrowed clit – wondering if she could create a spell to transfigure hers to this permanently – as Harry worked himself into her arse. Once he was able to pound into her rather easily, they both shifted so that she was riding Ron while Harry rode her. This was a position they did often, at least once a week. Hermione loved it to begin with, but thought it felt even better as Luna.

After they all reached a glorious climax and collapsed into a sated pile, Hermione absently drew on Ron's shoulder with a finger. “Having sex as Luna feels so much better, but I think Harry's right. It's also far more intense than I can handle on a regular basis. So, while I do want to do this again and again, it probably won't be for a while.”

Ron kissed her. “That's alright, I love you far more as yourself.”

This made Hermione smile softly as she drifted off to sleep.

Harry kissed Hermione and then Ron. Within seconds, they were all out cold.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got any kinks you haven't seen me write about? I tend to gravitate to the same ones, lol!  
> OH! And Ron knew 100 percent that Harry and Hermione were just joking. That's why he wasn't offended. I hope you didn't think they were being serious either, lol :-)


End file.
